Whoa!

Murphy ji at his best!

So, I had fever midcycle. I did some baby dance, I was sure it wasn't enough. I got new tailor made fitted dresses. No I didn't buy She Cup and Ecofemme Pads, call it my laziness.

Then I patiently awaited my period. I gave my body some time, since my cycles have a surprise element, ranging from 28 to 36 days.

Then one day, I retched. Yes I had a wave of nausea . It shook me. It surprised me. And it made me believe I may be pregnant. After a few days of wait, and daily retching, I took a urine pregnancy test. Which was positive. POSITIVE

Positive when I least expected it.

Few days before I missed my period, I heard from two of my closest friends of their good news. I was happy for them, yet feeling left out. Now I am glad I have two of my closest friends delivering just before me. Now I have gals to share my fears and experiences real time. These were my classmates in college. We had exams, successes, failures all together. Now this life changing experience.

I am thrilled to bits!

Bad News

Aunt Flo arrived, and left me shattered. I was so sure she won't be seen for a while now. Alas

Its upsetting, to know you have not made a baby. Being a first timer, a few doubts began creeping in as well. But anxiety is best kept far. It really adds up to nothing. So I am using some stuff to comfort me

1- Probably God has a better plan for me
2- I probably had made a baby, but due to some malformation, it was best I didn't succeed
3- I need to earn some more! ;)
4- I can safely deworm myself, like I wanted to pre pregnancy!
5- Some women do get small bleeds, like a "period" in first month. So I should still treat my body with respect, have nutritious food and avoid unnecessary self medication

The Two Week Wait

The two weeks between trying and knowing are the slowest two weeks ever! While I am at the last few days of the week, each day has been eventful.

For a few years, my husband and I were pretty reluctant to consider parenting, given our hectic lifestyle, odd schedules, uncertain careers and a general dislike of the city life. But then finally the fear of running out of time, and the feeling of missing something important caught up with me and we finally gave in to the temptation. And also, going DINKs in India requires tremendous courage and some "I don't care" attitude which I honestly don't have. 

Seeing most of my batch mates sport pictures of their chubby pregnant faces, chubbier babies and such was no relief either. So starting this year, I got my teeth fixed, started eating good and Folic Acid supplements and we decided to take the plunge few weeks ago.

Now call it my mind, or am I so in tune with my body, past one week I have noticed a few things which lead me to believe I may be pregnant! 

Starting with lower abdominal cramps, although mild, and all over the place. No preference to any side.

Then the extreme crazy fatigue. Just the journey from home to work exhausts me. Staying up beyond 10 pm is a task. Point in case- while making this blog, I had to key in the Google Word verification at least 15 times. OK, 10 times. Good thing- I know my new password by heart!

Extreme distaste for tea which is my favorite drink for any given season. I have at least 5-6 cups a day, now reduced to 1/2 in the morning

One episode of nausea. Standing in the train, regretting the morning cup of tea!

Sore breasts- minimal value, those I have premenstrual as well.

Food cravings- which do not respond to any "baapre high calories!" warning from my better sense

Improved sense of smell- I have a pathetic sense of smell otherwise! I am the last to smell any perfume, farts, smelly armpits etc. But my sense of smell has certainly improved

I shared my stuff with the husband and he's been treating me like a princess! But somewhere a small pang of doubt has crept in my mind, which says "Is it all for real? Or am I imagining all of this? what if I'm not pregnant?" The thought scared me, but some rational thinking, sane advice from the hubby's sis and comforting from the husband has set things right. So today I had tea, felt less tired, but the cramping continues.

If I take the urine test now, it is likely to be negative- either a true or a false one, unless I am pouring hormones! Irregular cycles complicate things. So I have a UPT kit, hidden in my bag, which I will take only after I have really missed my period! Till then, God bless me with some patience