Life Updates

Nearing the end of third TTC cycle!

This month, I was calm and let fate take over. Dumped the thermometer, no more BBT. No cervical mucus checks.
MY FATE- Midcycle, had a huge fever. But consciously avoided antibiotics, cough remedies, everything! Nutrition suffered big time. Obviously, sex was lowest on priority list. So this month, the period is what I expect, not a positive UPT.

Meanwhile more and more people are sharing their good news, and baby pictures! Makes my heart leap with happiness for them, and a tinge of sorrow for myself. But then my good sense prevails. Whatever happens, will take its own sweet time. And when it happens, all the sorrows of past will be insignificant.

Laws of Murphy

Now its 2 months of active trying, 6 months of thinking of trying. I have been postponing buying new clothes, getting new clothes tailored and buying a diva cup and eco femme cloth pads (ya I'm turning eco friendly in a big way) for ages.

Now I am bored of my dresses. Enough, I'm going to the tailor. And I'm ordering she cup online ASAP.

And if Murphy has it right I'll conceive the next day these things arrive at my doorstep.

Bad News

Aunt Flo arrived, and left me shattered. I was so sure she won't be seen for a while now. Alas

Its upsetting, to know you have not made a baby. Being a first timer, a few doubts began creeping in as well. But anxiety is best kept far. It really adds up to nothing. So I am using some stuff to comfort me

1- Probably God has a better plan for me
2- I probably had made a baby, but due to some malformation, it was best I didn't succeed
3- I need to earn some more! ;)
4- I can safely deworm myself, like I wanted to pre pregnancy!
5- Some women do get small bleeds, like a "period" in first month. So I should still treat my body with respect, have nutritious food and avoid unnecessary self medication

The Two Week Wait

The two weeks between trying and knowing are the slowest two weeks ever! While I am at the last few days of the week, each day has been eventful.

For a few years, my husband and I were pretty reluctant to consider parenting, given our hectic lifestyle, odd schedules, uncertain careers and a general dislike of the city life. But then finally the fear of running out of time, and the feeling of missing something important caught up with me and we finally gave in to the temptation. And also, going DINKs in India requires tremendous courage and some "I don't care" attitude which I honestly don't have. 

Seeing most of my batch mates sport pictures of their chubby pregnant faces, chubbier babies and such was no relief either. So starting this year, I got my teeth fixed, started eating good and Folic Acid supplements and we decided to take the plunge few weeks ago.

Now call it my mind, or am I so in tune with my body, past one week I have noticed a few things which lead me to believe I may be pregnant! 

Starting with lower abdominal cramps, although mild, and all over the place. No preference to any side.

Then the extreme crazy fatigue. Just the journey from home to work exhausts me. Staying up beyond 10 pm is a task. Point in case- while making this blog, I had to key in the Google Word verification at least 15 times. OK, 10 times. Good thing- I know my new password by heart!

Extreme distaste for tea which is my favorite drink for any given season. I have at least 5-6 cups a day, now reduced to 1/2 in the morning

One episode of nausea. Standing in the train, regretting the morning cup of tea!

Sore breasts- minimal value, those I have premenstrual as well.

Food cravings- which do not respond to any "baapre high calories!" warning from my better sense

Improved sense of smell- I have a pathetic sense of smell otherwise! I am the last to smell any perfume, farts, smelly armpits etc. But my sense of smell has certainly improved

I shared my stuff with the husband and he's been treating me like a princess! But somewhere a small pang of doubt has crept in my mind, which says "Is it all for real? Or am I imagining all of this? what if I'm not pregnant?" The thought scared me, but some rational thinking, sane advice from the hubby's sis and comforting from the husband has set things right. So today I had tea, felt less tired, but the cramping continues.

If I take the urine test now, it is likely to be negative- either a true or a false one, unless I am pouring hormones! Irregular cycles complicate things. So I have a UPT kit, hidden in my bag, which I will take only after I have really missed my period! Till then, God bless me with some patience